Saturday, April 28, 2012

You Are Proving Me Wrong!

So yesterday I posted about how to apply for the Phone BFF position because I want to replace my current PBFF. Well not that I want to, but I am going to have to since she can no longer fulfill her duties. Ya know, kinda like when a beauty queen did porn in the past and has to be stripped of her crown and duties...something like that.

Anyway, PBFF Carmen told me that she was irreplaceable and that I couldn't find anyone. I told her I just knew I would get a few thousand applicants, afterall who doesn't want to be at someone else's beckon call anytime of day or night? I am highly UNDERwhelmed by the few applicants that casually mentioned they wanted to apply.

Let me say, this is a one person job. I can't have 3 shifts of PBFF! What if something happens during shift change and the new PBFF hasn't clocked in? Then I would be left hanging and that just will not do. Also I can't be repeating myself 3 times a day filling in each PBFF that would be too much like I was working for them instead of it being all about me! *okie knows it is always about her and likes it that way*.

Come on guys this is a simple job! My friend Carmen Scrappinbee did it for years, well until she started nursing school and I had to put her on temporary hiatus. Actually she and Carmen in Houston shared the position for quite awhile because I was afraid it was too much for one person but then when Carmen Scrappinbee had to go on hiatus and the job fell on Carmen Houston's shoulders, she never once complained. She just bucked up and took over the duties full time. It's not like it's a burden or anything! I am not asking you to pay all my bills, carry my fat arse across an interstate, raise my child, feed my dog....All I am requiring for the position is that you be there to answer the dang phone whenever I call!

Maybe I should mention that as the full time PBFF you will have access to my card stash, which if you look at the picture you can tell it is a little low right now. Carmen is able to tell me "hey I need two dozen cards" and even though she makes cards herself I always send them to her *okie won't mention that she bitches the whole time about how Carmen could make her own dang cards if she would just get off her lazy arse*. You also get to do personal craft shopping for me. If there is a good sale you get to call me and have me look stuff up on the internet and I will tell you whether to purchase it for me or not. I will then reimburse you per Paypal or pay you in cards, Carmen likes the cards. I guess I should mention you don't get to charge me for shipping, Carmen and I never keep up with shipping since we send stuff back and forth to each other all the time.

As you might be able to see now, there are a few perks that come with the job so it is not a totally thankless job! I often thank Carmen when we are talking *okie tries to think about if she is thanking Carmen or bitching at her and figures it is the same thing so it doesn't matter*.

Now that you can understand what a wonderful and fulfilling position this is I am expecting some serious applicants who make no excuses! *okie thinks she better get started on a formal application to hand out to the massive amount of applicants that will be rolling in over the next few days*.


  1. This all sounds so glamourous and fulfilling.

  2. You had me at the card stash!!! Could you email me an application and I will gladly fill it out and return it to you for your consideration? ;0) LOL

  3. Card stash? I might have to give this some more thought, but goodness - phones, yuck! I noticed that you did not jump at the chance to apply for my pedi BFF. Hop on a plane for Georgia, I'll wait. I have WINE!! But phones???? 😂

  4. I don't know??? Sounds really tempting to me... Maybe I should apply just in case you need another runner up.... hummmm

  5. I WOULD apply but you exhausted me just reading about the job requires!!! I have a child that already makes demands like that of me! Seems I HAVE to answer HIS calls on ring one or two no matter what I might be doing....I even got chewed out by him because I turned off my phone while I was at church...funny how I 9 times out of 10 I can't get hold of him by calling or texting...

    hhaa loved reading about the whole application process though!

  6. OMG! Your last two posts are KILLING me. If I didn't already fill this roll for another friend I would so apply. Just to hear your train of thought any time of the day or night would be all the payment I'd need. The card stash would be a wonderful bonus! What a stash girlfriend. I hope you find a couple of candidates to interview. The process sounds very entertaining. Keep us posted. Carry on with your crafty self!

    Cindy P.

  7. Hmmm. Couple of questions:

    1. What does this position pay?
    2. Benefits?
    3. Does this position come with a ticket to the annual gf's Christmas Party?
    4. Will you be providing wine and or prescription strength drugs to put up with your azz?
    5. Will there be chocolate?

    I won't be applying, just interested. I cant get u to reply to an email or text I ain't gonna try to call and waste my precious unlimited minutes to get voicemail. Just saying.

  8. I did apply and now I'm very hurt that you're still asking for applicants.Here's a little about me. I'm married,30yrs,and DH would be ecstatic if I had ANY kind of job.I have 5 kids,youngest is 17 and I don't do laundry for any of them.I don't really like to cook,but do because I do believe in family dinner at the table.BUT have no problem leaving for phone calls,lol.I stay up til 11:30 or later.I love margaritas,maitai's or any drink with an umbrella. So send an official app if you'd like. ^.^

  9. Hmmmmm... not enough applicants? Have you thought about Craigs List? LOL!

  10. I think u would be fun to chat with but I don't have that kind of time! lol Oh and hubby would never answer when you call. He has his own PBFF and no its not me. lol

  11. Hmph! OBVIOUSLY, You have overlooked my excited reply! I was attempting to not be TOO overboard as I didn't want to scare you away, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt and "assume" I fell in your blind spot and you simply "overlooked" my response.
    I will still extend the offer of a texting BFF, but since your vision is hampered in some manner, perhaps that would be a difficulty for you.

  12. I am so offended that you are rejecting my idea of "shifts". We could fill out a summary of our shift to email to the next shift before they come on duty to keep them up to speed. After reading PamGrams reply, she seems quite similar to me although all my kids are gone now. I guess after seeing the perks I could do it full time though :) I loved the questions posed by Kricut Tangee, I'm especially interested in the admission to the annual xmas party, let me know in advance since this will require the purchase of a plane ticket to get there. I would not have a problem going to OK for only a day, just last week I flew all the way from Florida to Cleveland, OH just to see Bruce Springsteen and went home the next day :) Some people just don't understand the word "priority"...send me a job app