Sunday, May 8, 2011

It's Mother's Day

Today is my 19th year of being a mother. There have been good years and some rough years but I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Of course that is what you expect people to say right? Now let's talk the truth....

The first few years of being a mother is a pretty thankless job! No one is there to say thank you for changing my diaper, feeding me, not minding if I spit up on you, constantly picking up after me and seeing to every basic need I have. Not only do we do it as a mother, but for some odd reason God has chosen to put some weird enzyme into our bodies that makes us LOVE doing it! I swear that is my theory because now 19 years later I think "EW GROSS".

I now think of how odd it is that I could change the diaper that had the most gosh awful mess in it and still love that little smiling, chubby, bright eyed creature that produced the mess. Now days if I am around someone whose baby has created a foul smelling mushy mess in their diaper I politely say "Girl you better see what is wrong because it smells like something died!".

Then our children become toddlers. Oh what joy!! We are constantly running after our newly mobile beings that our children have become and telling them "NO NO". Now days I shutter when I am in a store and hear the wail of some toddler screaming at an ear piercing volume because they can't have that candy bar that is so tightly protected in their little fist. And I think back to my days of being the mother of a toddler and I think "DEAR LORD THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO SURVIVE!"

Then the wonderful day comes that our children start elementary school. WOOHOO! A little break for Mommy! Um but not always. If you have "that child" *okie won't go into too much detail* you learn that others need to discipline your child, and sometimes you have to give them a few pointers on how to handle your ornery child. I see children this age now and I wonder just how many other mothers are known as "the one whose child had the most time outs" and I sigh to myself and think "None.....just none".

Now on to Junior High and teenage years. Our children are bundles of raging hormones, bodily changes and attitudes out of this world. We sit back and wonder "what happened to my child? Where did that loving bundle of joy go?".

Let them get sick and they want us there to rub their backs, hold their hands, etc while they throw up in the toilet or a bucket. When they have fever they want to lay next to us while their bodies are burning up, and we allow them to even though we are sweating from the heat their feverish bodies are producing. We are only their mother if it is convenient for them. Other times we are "the biggest idiot in the world that won't let me do anything".


Ahhh high school starts and our kids have opportunity to make accomplishments in their lives that they feel will be the most important thing EVAH! Just as soon as we start to feel proud of our children becoming more independent and making the right choices...they fall on their face and somehow it is the fault of us, yep..the mother! The discipline methods have to change at this point but, they have developed the ability to understand we control the most important thing they need....STRINGS TO THE PURSE! The most fantastic weapon any mother has to use against their child!

I see the parents of high school kids now and think "whew I am glad those years are over! Good luck to them".


On to college and adulthood, freedom and getting the kids out the house! I thought it would be different somehow when my daughter moved out. I thought I would save money but she informed me "Mom-mart is open 24/7" and I have food and toilet paper come up missing at times.

I do have to say I think our kids finally start to have true appreciation for us at this point! They begin to realize how difficult it is to be on their own and how much as mothers we have done for them. At this age our kids are starting to develop the frontal lobe of their brain a little and start to listen to what we are saying while talking to them instead of having a thinking string such as this.... "I wish that idiot would shut up because I am not listening...oh I need to get my nails done...I wonder if Shelby is coming home this weekend...ew that girls shirt does not go with those pants...SQUIRREL!...OMG she is still there a party this weekend?...".

I attended the graduation of my eldest God daughter yesterday and I was so proud of her accomplishing this life goal. My daughter is a freshman in college and I sat there at the graduation and looked around at some of the mothers I thought "I hope I can tap into their secret on how to survive the college years".


Sorry for the yakkity post today. I just felt like typing out some feelings about being a mother. And I will add....

Sure I wish certain events could have been different but if they had then neither of us would be the people we are now. She has gone from being my loving adorable baby, to the terrorizing toddler, to the fun child, to the hormonal dramatic teenager, to the young adult who is not only a my daughter but also starting to consider me a friend.

Honestly, even with all the ups and downs over the years I would not trade being the mother to my daughter for anything in the world.



  1. Okie, as usual, you summed it all up. Mine is slightly different because I have 3 boys but.... You hit all of the high notes!
    Thanks for your usual humor filled view on life!

  2. Oh so well said!!! I can relate to every stage you listed. I have a son that just finished his freshman year and at home I have a "lovely" teenage daughter. I agree with you that I am starting to see that "light at the end of the tunnel"...I overheard my daughter and son talking this weekend. Daughter: "what if mom and dad can't pay for your college?" Son: "then I'll get loans and do it myself because education is that important." :D Maybe...just maybe...they listened!

  3. Since we both have only one child and both of them being girls, I couldn't have said it better, i wouldn't trade one minute of it!

  4. Truer words could not be spoken my friend.


  5. Beautifully said, true and honest. thanks for sharing, Okie.

  6. thanks for making me cry!! Seriously, that was a wonderful way of describing motherhoood!!

  7. What a beautiful post...I'm sure your daughter treasures you, your beautiful outlook on life and your wonderful sense of humor. If she doesn't you can adopt me. :)

  8. Oh my gosh, thanks once again for bringing a big smile to my face. I have an 18 year old son who's only goal is get out of the house. And a 14 year old girl who is still too sweet for her own good. Thanks for giving me hope that some day they will both be past the SQUIRREL phase. Have a great day!!


  9. I couldn't have said it better. Back at ya Okie!

  10. Happy Mothers Day.. This is truly a beautiful post that touched me as I am at that teenage stage in motherhood..ugh kill me now!

  11. Beautiful Okie, just beautiful. And funny and truthful! Thank you so much for such a delightful read!

  12. Okie. I'm not a mother. But I absolutely love your post. I've been trying to have a baby with my husband for the past almost 4 years. And with my diagnosis of Ovarian Cancer... it has been really hard.. to think that I might not ever be able to feel what you say in this post. People have asked me.. "why do you want to have kids so bad anyway? Aren't you happy of not having to worry about having kids and the responsibilities and being able to do whatever you want because you don't have to worry about a babysitter?" and I look at them in disbelief. I appreciate your honest post. I agree with you.. i had ups and downs with my mom... but I'm so blessed to have her as my mother. She is amazing and I love her unconditionally. She knows it too. And I want to be able to feel that... to be able to mother a child and let them know that I will forever be a proud and greatful mother to them. Thank you for such a wonderful post. Happy Mother's Day Okie! God Bless!

  13. Happy Mother's Day!!!

  14. Happy Mother's Day !
    What great words to sum up what we really do as moms. I can relate to your truthful words until a certain extent. I have a 17 year olsd son, and a 14 year old daughter. I'm trembling a bit in my shoes right now, he's going to be a freshman in College, and the same time my daughter is going to be a freshman in High School.
    What a 2011-2012 school year I'm dreading. So far they have been amazing kids, I hope the can remember everything they have been taught and like you said, start considering me as a true friend.

  15. I totally loved your notes about mother hood,and I don't find anything yakkity at all!!! It's the Truth!!!! Though mine are still littles, yes I know is a commitment forever, I heard someone saying we Mother's babysit them on Earth for God and that is absolutely true also. Thanks for sharing it, i feel like I am still "normal"..whatever that means!!! :):) I hope you had a great Mother's day Okie!!! :):)

  16. What a great post. Most of us Mother's can relate. I am lucky enough to have survived to the post college. Love that they are not that dependent on me as they used to be. ( most times) They even bought me the Quarter Note cartridge for Mother's Day! I love it when they are thoughtful like that. Also received 2 beautiful sentimental cards and flowers!! Love your blog. Happy Mother's Day!

  17. Beautiful Okie. Your expression of motherhood touched me. My dd is going to be 40 this year. I remember all of the stages you talked about. She still needs me as a mother...but we are also best friends. I am so glad we live in the same town and I get to be with her often. You and your dd have many happy memories ahead of you...May God bless you exceedingly...Happy Mother's Day to you too. Smoochie

  18. OK thanks Okie I am sitting here with big old tears running down my face. This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. You are a wonderful writer. I love this post.
    Hugs and Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful Mother!

  19. Awwweeee....That was like the BEST POST EVER!!! Now granted I have 3 boys... but the sentiment is still the same! :o) I hope you had a FABULOUS MOTHER'S DAY! :O)

  20. Okie, So so true, you hit the nail on the head.

    The dirty diapers you get over just as soon as you have a Grandchild....LOL (but true).

    But no matter how old they get...they will always be our babies.

  21. Thanks Okie for being so downright truthful once again! My boys are now 2, 4 and 8. Most people who asked how my mother's day was were apalled to know that I had an EXCELLENT Mother's Day... because I left them with Daddy while I went out with some Mommy friends for 8 hours to the movies and lunch!!

  22. I enjoyed your post and hope you had a Happy Mother's Day! I just had to share w you my oldest dd gave me a Mother's Day card full of pretty flowers and glitter...On the front is says...

    MOM -
    Raising me
    couldn't have been easy,
    "I give up!"
    "I can't take it!"
    you said...

    (open the card...while you're reading the inside of the card, the song, "I Will Survive" is playing.)

    for sticking by me
    no matter what.
    Happy Mother's Day

    I'll tell you what...I love them dearly, but bringing 3 dd up into adulthood is quite the trip. They do come to appreciate us tho, not too long after they've moved out on their own...just as we did w our parents. And they do come to us for advice, knowing that what we say is real. Enjoy the journey! ;)

    Carol aka cyimbugbitten
    bugbitten at hotmail dot com

  23. Okie, you certainly have a "way with words" and you really summed all of that up, beautifully!!

    I didn't have to worry about the terrible twos, or trying threes but, man, did she ever make up for it when she became a teenager.

    But she turned into a beautiful woman! (23 yrs. old)

    TFS!! I hope you put all of that into a scrapbook for your DD. :-)

  24. Hope you had a very special day my friend... you raised a beautiful young lady... and should be very proud.. hugs from Ukiah

  25. Beautifully said! Thanks for sharing, Okie :O) Hope you had a fabulous Mother's Day!!