Anyway there was this post on Facebook this morning and it really struck me, in a good way! You know me, I of course have a story about this! As most of you know I have been a single mother most of my daughters life. Her father left when she was 5 weeks old *okie can't believe Shiane will be 23 in November* and from that time on I was the only parent my sweet daughter had.
When Shiane was little I wanted her to find things she loved to do so she was involved in many things...soccer, basketball, softball, tae kwon do, Girl Scouts and just about anything she wanted to experience. I did limit her to 2-3 things at a time so we would be able to get some occasional rest. I can remember my evenings after work being filled with shuttling her here and there to practices, meetings, etc and being exhausted when I finally got in the bed. Our weekends were usually filled with visiting family, going to movies or something where we were spending time together. We were always on the go. Ever since my daughter was in first grade I have been blessed with having a job that would allow me to not miss any of her school plays, parties, ballgames and always be available when she needed. Of course at times that also meant I was the one mom that could be called when someone else forgot it was there day for snacks and then I would have to make a quick trip to the store after a quick change in my schedule and drop off snacks for her class.
When Shiane was about 8 years old we were visiting with my Mom and I had been telling Mom how tired I was and how busy we stay. I can still remember so clearly the short exchange between me and my Mom.
Mom said "Shirley don't wrap your life up into her life so much that you don't have a life of your own. One day she will leave, she is suppose to leave...that is how it is suppose to be".
I remember smiling at my mom and telling her "Oh Momma I know that. I know one day she is going to grow up and have a life of her own. I know that one day she will leave me and I will be alone but that is the exact reason I want to spend so much time with her right now. Right now she is mine and all mine and I want to cherish every moment".
I still remember the sheer exhaustion that I felt so many nights but ya know what? Now I smile and know that I participated! I participated every day with all the energy I had and I would do it all over again if I could! I think I really did see it as a privilege to be able to be there for her and do so many things for her. We have had some rough years but now she is coming into her own and blossoming into the adult I had always hoped she would be and I know soon she will be leaving me and this time probably for good but I also know that I can always look back and think I DIDN'T MISS OUT ON ANYTHING! I PARTICIPATED!
I really don't think I can be more blessed than that!